Thursday, November 04, 2004

frisbees and boulders.

Perhaps it's out of cathartic need to understand, but I've spent the past few days soul-searching and reading op-ed pieces, trying to find out upon which donkey to pin the Loser tail. Sure, we all know the obvious ones -- Terry McAuliffe, campaign strategists, and yes, Senator Kerry himself. But the true answer lies deeper than that. Sort of.

It all comes down to one simple principle:

Frisbees and boulders.

Karl Rove gets the same reports Democratic strategists get. He knew Iraq was going to be a messy, messy campaign issue. Even though the Dems were late to the campaign with it, Rove knew they'd be pushing that Iraq War Boulder to every man, woman, and child along the campaign trail. Given enough time and momentum, that slow-moving boulder is going to gather speed as more people get behind it. If the Republicans couldn't find a diversion and fast, that boulder would roll them right out of the White House.

That's when the light went on above Rove's horned head.

"Frisbees."

Karl Rove started throwing frisbees at every red state, undecided, and Fox News hack.

Gay marriage! Whooosh!!!!!

Abortion! Whooosh!!!!!

Stem cell research! Whooosh!!!!!

Swift Boat Vets! Whooosh!!!!!

Ten Commandments! Whooosh!!!!!

Flip-flopper! Whooosh!!!!!

"Kinda French!" Whooosh!!!!! (Hey, nobody said they had to be honest or make sense!)

And so on. Rove zinged every frisbee, knowing accuracy of the throw didn't matter because somebody was going to catch it, and throw it around, creating a cacophonous noise of frisbee throwers. Why weren't the Dems out in front of this? Because they were too busy figuring out how to push that boulder and were sorely behind. By the time they got that boulder out there, all the folks they were looking for were too busy playing frisbee.

That's how you win an election in 21st Century America.
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